Fiona’s celibacy dictum seems to have the blessing of the fates. Roddy wanted to come into our bed as he had a sore tummy, so Phil went through to Roddy’s room. Phil didn’t have my trim, sensuous body to tempt him, much to his relief, no doubt, and I got a full night of Roddy’s elbows and knees. But he felt fine this morning and went off to school.
Half day at work, so had long lunch with Kate. Wanted to talk to her before complaining to Fiona. Kate says this ‘Beyond The Beast’ therapy is frightfully effective. The ‘forbidden fruit’ bit is so obvious to us, but men just don’t understand it because they’re such babies. It doesn’t take much to get them to revert to their teenage years of groping, fumbling, and desperation.
“Expect a permanent stiffy and premature ejaculation!” Kate announced proudly, which was a bit awkward as
we were just being served our soup at that very moment. It was only a pub lunch but I could swear the barman reddened.
Kate then went on to reel off some anti-man one-liners she’s obviously been saving up.
Here are the ones I remember -
Men are like lava lamps - fun to look at, but not all that bright!
Men are like snowstorms - you never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long they’ll last!
Men are like cement - after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard!
I laughed like a drain. Kate is in charge of herself, no doubt about it, and it’s all down to Fiona, so I’ve got to give her some trust.
Kate has found her G-Spot.
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